Most people walk around DISCONNECTED.
Disconnected from their bodies.
Disconnected from their power.
“If the external actions are not harmonious, the mind will be disturbed. Conversely, a disturbed mind will tend to produce disharmonious act” (Unknown)
We have an epidemic of people walking around in their minds. Connecting to their thought-based reality, which creates much of our dis-ease, discomfort, anxiety, stress and trauma. When we are living a life that is based from our mental constructs, we tend to sit in a space of superiority and inferiority. We fluctuate between knowing we are right, feeling in control or feeling worthless and out-of-control. It could be described like being run by an automatic pilot that is shaped by our societies conditions, parental beliefs, educational conformity, and social constructs. From the moment we are born we start to wear these billion different masks and coats that mould us. We do this firstly, as a means of survival and adaption to our environment but also to tend to some of basic core human functions that desire love and belonging.
When we become so entrenched in these layers of identity we tend to cover up our natural unique qualities that don’t conform to the environments we squeeze into. It could be said these very parts we hide or cover up are the very parts of our nature that are feeling unsafe in an unwelcoming or harsh environment. Most of this happens in our infancy to childhood developmental stage where we learn to grow up in such a way that minimises the detrimental effects of our surrounding environment. We embody skills, tools, tactics that protect our most vulnerable parts from being exposed.
How can you tell if you are hiding your most vulnerable parts?
When a person feels unsafe- the first things they want to do is escape, avoid or remove themselves from danger. When we can’t physically escape, we resort to the next best thing: disassociate. This is closely linked to something the Shamans or Ngangkari call ‘soul loss’. When a part of us decides to leave our body because it is not feeling safe.
We does it go?
If we break ourselves down to our basic element… energy. When our energy stops moving because of the inescapable experiences we had as a younger person, we store it. It becomes stagnant. It becomes blocked in our body vessel. This could also mean a part of us becomes frozen in time. So even though you may be an adult walking around, you have stagnant energy from a childhood experience. This part of you is stored back in that past moment rather than being fully present to your current experience. When we have this stored energy in our body, it can appear to be quite painful. It stores energy that we can recall as distasteful, painful, hurtful, wounding and our natural instinctual nature tries to avoid the pain at all costs. When we avoid the pain (which is not really pain- our minds just interpret it as pain) we escape to the one place we believe will give us respite- our minds. Our mind does not allow us to feel.
Yet, the mind is the very thing that amplifies our stress, worry, concern, powerlessness, over-intellectualisation, drama, pain….
It leaves us feeling disconnected from our power.
When we are disconnected we lack strong boundaries, we struggle to stay no, we override our instinct or inner knowing, we self-depreciate, we self-sooth with unhealthy habits and we are not able to be clear on what our needs are.
So how does one start to get out of the mind and into their power?
Our satisfaction in life comes from not pushing away the grief, but in feeling moved and filled and permeated by it that we come to the centre of all life (Christine Caldwell)
The very thing we attempt to avoid is the access point to our salvation. Just beyond our fear of pain, is the gift of our expansive, unlimited potential. It offers the love and belonging that we desired from our earlier years.
#1 WATCH Your Thoughts like a Hawk.
These cheeky, devious, pretender voices creep in when we least expect it. These are full of beliefs; conditions & mindsets that are designed to keep us conformed, stuck, stagnant.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate” (C. G. Jung)
#2 Dismantle their Validity, Reduce their POWER
Start to unravel the pretender voices. See them for the artificial, false untruths that they are. They are not you! And never were you! It’s time to let them go.
#3 Loving-Compassionate PRESENCE
75% of any successful therapeutic/ coaching session is loving-compassionate presence. So why not start to turn this towards yourself? If you can up your daily dose of being kind to yourself, you are bound to drop those self-depreciating thoughts and replace them with more loving ones.
#4 CONNECT with your Inner Child
If our energy is stuck in time…then it’s about time we go back to reclaim it. Spend time connecting with your inner child. Start to express your love and gratitude towards them. They are the ones that need it the most (especially if you did not have access to it when you were younger!!). If we don’t learn to connect with our inner child, they activate certain behaviours that can be highly REACTIVE to our circumstances and act in unhealthy ways.
#5 Seek Support…You don’t have to Suffer ALONE!
We live in a world that is strongly focused on individuality. This can create a belief that we can figure out everything by ourselves. Most women I work with have suffered alone. They think that no-one is there to help or that they are so alone they are destined to continue living this isolating experience. The truth is your not destined for this. You have a choice! Seeking guidance and support from professionals, healers, or workers that are skilled to release stagnant energy is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. The question is: are you ready to INVEST in living beyond the fearful limiting beliefs?